Friday, February 12, 2010

How am I ever going to do this?

As I sit here at my desk, I keep looking over my shoulder at my half marathon registration confirmation posted on my bulletin board. (Sigh)
After a few days off for a vay-cay in New York, I got back on the treadmill yesterday. Three was rough. My knees are screaming at me today and I'm wondering how in the heck I will ever be able to add another 10 miles to what I did yesterday. If this process is a climb, I just got buried in an avalanche.
It all started a week ago...
I was at a local running store with my cousin who was shopping for new workout duds. I was chatting with a salesperson and said, OUT LOUD, "I'm training for a half marathon." It was freaky. I felt like speaking the words to a total stranger made the whole thing even more real. I felt like I was lumping myself in with this exclusive group (runners) and imagined the saleswoman was thinking, "Sure lady, whatever you say."
I started to doubt.
Then, I had a bad run the day before leaving town. It was freezing and I had a side cramp almost immediately. I struggled through the rest of my run, but I didn't feel the sense of accomplishment I usually feel.
I felt guilty for shunning my workouts during vacation, but told myself all the walking was just as good. Then, I came home to find that my body had gone on vacation as well as my brain.
Ugh! How do you dig yourself out of a mental hole? I know if I can just start thinking I can do this again, I'll be able to convince my feet (and my knees and my lungs...)!

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